Dialogue for
‘The Adventures of John & John’
 
I offer this as an example. My graduation film has won several awards and has featured in ‘best of..’ selections in festivals around the world. And I still like the script. Model animation, in a doll’s house/ bed-sit environment. JOHN H. is looking out of the window in their long thin single room flat.  Titles; The Adventures of John and John JOHN H. is looking out of the window Cut to: Live action, traffic at the end of an alley, as viewed from a window that faces one wall of the alley, so that only a sliver of the road can be seen. Model animation. JOHN H is at the window, and JOHN 2 is sat at the table doing nothing in particular. JOHN looks pensive. JOHN H. looks restless.  JOHN H; Okay, how about a game of dog breed guesswork? JOHN 2: How do you play? JOHN H: one of us thinks of a breed of dog, and the other person has to guess which breed they’re thinking of. JOHN 2: alright , I’ll give it a go. DALMATION JOHN H: Don’t say it out loud, think it to yourself JOHN 2: but I was guessing yours JOHN H: Oh. Well. If you’re guessing would you mind putting a bit more inquisitiveness in your tone? JOHN 2: alright. DALMATION ? Is it? Is it? Is it, dalmation? JOHN H: Yes it is. (Pause) JOHN H: I’ve got you a present. JOHN 2: Have you John? JOHN H: Yes I have. It’s going to make us rich and famous. It’s over there… JOHN H looks across at something that takes up one end of the room, covered by a sheet. Perhaps some dramatic music. JOHN H uncovers THE CONSOLE, consisting of a screen, valves, resistors, and real size glass lab equipment. JOHN 2: Ooh. It’s very big. What is it? JOHN H shows JOHN 2 a head clamp with wires sticking out of it.  JOHN H: You put this on your head and it fires probes into your brain, and then whatever images are in your head come up on the big screen. JOHN 2: Probes you say? JOHN H: Yes. Are you going to give it a try? JOHN 2: Why don’t you give it a go first? JOHN H: I couldn’t possibly John, it’s your present. JOHN 2: Oh. Perhaps I’ll save it for later. JOHN H: Well. Perhaps now would be good. Fade to black. Sfx, Sound of drilling into bone. Title, white on black: THE SOUND OF DRILLING INTO BONE JOHN H and JOHN 2 are sat at the CONSOLE, JOHN 2 has the head clamp on with wires sticking out of it. They are looking at the screen of the console, which is mounted like a window on the end wall. Technical diagrams from old physics books and suchlike flash up in quick succession. Suddenly we see a brief brightly coloured scene. On screen: 2D animation, paint on glass. A line of chubby high kicking dancing girls, doing the can can, in psychedelic colours, like the Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds sequence in Yellow Submarine. JOHN H: What was that? JOHN 2: Nothing. JOHN H: Was that Chubby Psychedelic Dancing Girls? JOHN 2: No. JOHN H: Oh. Because I thought it was. JOHN 2: It wasn’t JOHN H: Right then, let’s play another game. JOHN 2: Is it Labrador John? JOHN H: Not that game. Another game, called ‘ Becoming Rich and Famous’ JOHN 2: That sounds like a difficult game John. How do you play it? JOHN H: You think of some Cartoons that prove very popular with the general public, john. And then we retire on the proceeds. JOHN 2: That sounds somehow wrong. JOHN H: No John. It’s exactly right. Title, white on black: WRONG A selection of absurd clips of animation appear, first Full Screen, then pulling back to reveal that they are playing on THE CONSOLE, and silhouetted heads of JOHN H and JOHN 2. JOHN H is dismissing the animations as soon as they establish themselves on screen. JOHN H: Wrong…wrong……….wrong……wrong…..That’s wrong… Next…. Next… JOHN H: Next! JOHN H: Next! JOHN 2: Can we have a break now? We’ve been doing this for three days now. JOHN H: We can have a break when you stop being so selfish and start catching the eye of Multi Media Production Executives. How about we play a game where you try and produce an exciting police drama like on the T.V. JOHN 2: (over excited) Yes! Those Shows Are Exciting Aren’t They? I’ll Make One Come Out of My Brain! JOHN H: (a bit hesitant) Okay. Title, white on black: An Exciting Police Drama Out of JOHN’s Brain Two characters walk on, ‘tap tap tap tap tap tap tap’. They are small simple hand drawn characters who make speech bubbles when they talk, and they talk very fast. Coyle: Okay. Here’s the situation; I am a detective, this gentleman here is a criminal, with some kind of weapon… Gimme the gun, I want that gun, give me the gun, gun gun gun, gun, Gimme that gun, I want that gun I need that gun, gimme the gun, gimme the gun, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. Sharpe: (simultaneously) No no no no. You can’t have the gun, it’s my gun, you can’t have the gun, no no no I don’t want to give it to you, stay away stay away, you can’t have it, it’s my gun, ok, thank you, you’re welcome, you’re welcome, you’re welcome. Both look at camera, as if waiting for further instructions. Cut to JOHN H and JOHN 2, head and shoulders shot. JOHN 2 is looking of camera at the screen of the console, JOHN H is staring at JOHN 2 in disbelief. JOHN 2 glances at JOHN H and back at the screen, and then looks at JOHN H, who is still staring at him. JOHN 2; …What? (Pause) I could do a proper music video. Title, white on black: A PROPER MUSIC VIDEO. JOHN H: Are you sure you can manage? JOHN 2: Yeah, I’ll be fine…do you think this machine will make us rich and famous? JOHN H: It might do. Big Machines are always making people rich and famous. Perhaps we aught to turn it off now though. JOHN 2: I’ll be fine. JOHN H: Are you sure? JOHN 2; I’ll be fine. A MUSIC VIDEO of great stupidness proceeds… JOHN H hits JOHN 2 with a plank  JOHN 2; I WAS ENJOYING THAT JOHN H; I THOUGHT YOU WERE HAVING AN ELECTRIC SHOCK JOHN 2; WELL I WASN’T JOHN H; …that’s the last time I hit you with a plank Title, white on black: JOHN SHOWS A DEGREE OF CONCERN FOR HIS FRIEND THAT WAS NOT PREVIOUSLY IN EVIDENCE. Images on screen flash in quick succession, and then suddenly stop. JOHN H: Oh look, John. It’s broken. We’ll have to stop and have our tea. JOHN 2: It’s not broken. You’ve just turned it off. JOHN 2 points at a giant off ‘button’ JOHN H: No. It’s quite beyond repair, John. It’s time for our tea. JOHN 2: Oh, ok. What we having? JOHN H: Tonight John, we are having Oven Chips Full screen image of Oven Chips packet and plinky plunky advertising music for 1 second only. Cut to: JOHN 2 is sat at the table waiting for his tea, seen from the side facing left, he is looking at a book. JOHN H is offscreen, to the left there are the sounds of chips going under the grill.  Sfx. Grill rattle JOHN H, offscreen: Okay…How about a game of Guess the Duck Breed? Long pause…JOHN 2 stares offscreen, towards where JOHN H is busy getting dinner, pondering... JOHN 2: How do you play it? Credits.